is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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