Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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