I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
