I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
