hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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