I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
