dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He better not be in your backpack
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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