so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
