I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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