I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
