umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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