is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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