His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
