Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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