Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dick very happy bro
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
