I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
