I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
