You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
