yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's like iHOP with fire
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize