why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
