I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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