My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
