So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
