Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
