just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
