I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
