Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
