and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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