You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
