If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You are the jesus of drinking
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
