I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
