WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
