You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
