You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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