Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
