toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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