Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
