if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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