where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize