Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
