I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
