I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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