Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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