She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
