i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
