:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize