honey bunches of taint.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
