So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
