You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize