white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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