do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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