So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
