i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize