i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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