I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
