home. puking in laundry basket.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
