We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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