I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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