You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
