woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
