My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize