What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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