i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
