I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
