Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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