You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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