i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
